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Mistakes | A Poem by Annika J. Campbell

his fingers were strong and rough
the way he held me
like I was something he’d lost so many years ago
but the way he looked into my eyes
empty desire dripping from every pore
the terror was palpable on my face;
we both knew
it had gone to far
no turning back
I thought
he won’t stop
but he did.
he looked into my eyes
apologizes riddled his face
but lust was a lion,
roaring behind his eyes.
even so,
he froze
can I?
his question surprised me
and his kindness almost brought me to tears
and still I realized;
I do not love this boy.
I forgive him.
for all the things he said after it;
the names he called me,
the promises he broke,
I will always forgive him;
because he saw my fear,
and he stopped
I’m sorry
I blurted
I don’t love you
I heard him sigh
yet still
he rolled off me and fell against the mattress,
I put my head, suddenly heavy and tired, on his chest,
and fell asleep to the rhythm of his heart beat.

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