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As Wally Explained on the Locked Side Later | A Poem by Donal Mahoney

Another day at the zoo and
Wally’s new job was to feed the apes.
Old Stanley had fed the apes
for 40 years and loved the job
but told Wally he was retiring.
He was showing Wally the ropes when
Wally got hit with a coconut
lobbed by JuJu, the oldest ape,
who liked Stanley but not Wally.

Stanley drove Wally to a dentist
to check the damage to his teeth
but the dentist wanted to be paid
in advance and Wally had
no money, only a bus pass
and a bag lunch back in his locker.
He had never had a credit card.

The dentist looked and sounded
like Mel Brooks and kept saying
he wanted his money before drilling.
Wally’s father came to the office
and started writing a big check
to the plumber who had come over
the previous week to fix the toilet.

Bleeding from the mouth Wally yelled,
“Dad, write the check to Mel Brooks,
not the plumber,” but his father said,
“Wally, shut up for a change” and he
kept writing the check to the plumber.
His father had been dead for 30 years
but he and Wally never got along well
when his father was alive either.

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